Wednesday, February 29, 2012
PYHO: To Have or To Hold
If I felt like I was a resounding no, I could move on with our lives as a family of four, and start planning to rid ourselves of the baby gear (it's coming over, SIL!!!). If I knew in my heart our family was complete, I feel like I would have known the day B was born. I was always told by other friends that you just "know" that you're done. When your last baby is born, you feel complete, whole and certain that part of your life is closed. I didn't have that feeling when B was born. I was over-the-moon to have my girl. I was elated we FINALLY, after struggling with SIF, could give T a sibling. But...I didn't feel "done". Even after going through almost 10 months of sleepless nights and all the struggles of having a newborn fresh in my mind, I still don't quite feel "done".
So...this brings me to my "to have and to hold". Should I push hubs to rethink a third, and open that door, just a crack to possibly HAVE another? Problem is...time is a factor. I don't want our babies to be as far apart as T and B are now. I would want B to have someone closer in age to play with. So...time is ticking away. Decisions can't be put off for too long. Or...should I HOLD in that urge, work through it, and close my baby factory for good? Will I ever know the true and fast answer?? Will I ever feel like I made the "right" decision? Can I blame this madness on nursing hormones changing as I wean??
Who wouldn't want another one of these?? (Baby T)