How to Disipline a Preschooler

 

I wish this was a great "how to" post (like one of my most favorite bloggers The How To Mommy), where I give you gobs of helpful advice on how to manage a 4.5 year old, energetic pre-K'er.  Alas, this is just a plea for help.  Any advice, resources, books, websites, personal experiences...anything...would be greatly appreciated.  We just don't quite know what to do. 

So...here's the situation.  We have a very spirited little man.  He has always been very energetic and in need of stimulation, but T has always been very well-behaved.  I'm not just saying this because I'm his Mommy (let's face it, I'm slightly biased).  Friends, family, strangers, they have all commented in the past at what a good boy he is, how polite, how sweet and loving, what a good listener he is.  Unfortunately, that seems to be our sweet boy of the past.  We have hit quite a bump in the road ever since T was closer to turning 5 than being 4.  It's like a switch was turned on, and now we have an argumentative, pouty, disruptive firecracker who likes to push our buttons.  We've been having small issues all year with T not listening to his teachers at preschool and daycare.  He plays the "I can't hear you" card, and just flat out ignores requests.  He's also a classic boy, roughhousing with his friends, wrestling, not keeping his hands to himself, you know...being a boy.  I guess this behavior isn't too popular at preschool.  We don't see much of it at home, because he only has a 10 month old to play with. 

Lately, however, we've been having embarrassing blow-ups when we try to take him home from daycare.  I will arrive to pick him up, excited and eager to see my little monster, and what does T do...he ignores me, refuses to come give me a hug or say hello, then when he does acknowledge me, he begs me to let him stay and play.  It kills me every time.  I have even started to dread the pickup process.  How sad is that?! 

This week was the topper.  Hubs and I went together to pick him up from daycare, and we foolishly thought he'd be pumped to see the entire fam there to greet him.  Instead, he did his best ignoring, ran away from us when we tried to collect him (like literally did the na-na-na dance and dodged us), yelled very loudly that he "liked daycare better than home" ::insert dagger in heart:: and stopped using his legs, so we had to drag him out kicking and screaming with each of us holding an arm.  We tried to discuss it with him, reason with him, took away all his "privileges" (books, bath, cartoons, playing with mom and dad, dessert) and we acted hurt and cold, I even cried (legitimately).  Nothing worked.  Case and point...yesterday, after the aforementioned "blow up", we got news from his daycare teachers that he was 1. pushing his friends 2. disruptive at naptime (talking, singing and even growling ::snicker::) and 3. told his new friend Ellis that he was going to "kill him".  ::die::  Then, in his backpack...just to sink the knife in a bit farther...he came home with this...

Now, on a normal day, when we weren't struggling with his behavior, I would think this was HILARIOUS.  But, it just made me burst into tears after all we've been going through.  He just thinks I'm a cook?!?!  As T would say "he broke my heart".

So here we are...struggling with how to discipline our preschool-aged son, pulling our hair out with what might work to help change his behavior, possibly return our sweet little boy to us, and make him understand how bad his behavior has been.  I'm disappointed in him, and this kills me.  I'm embarrassed of his behavior.  This is very hard to admit.  I'm at a loss for how to get through to someone who seems to have an excuse for everything, a very short-term memory and can't truly comprehend the levity of the situation.  What do I do??  Is there a book out there that can give me the answers I crave?  What are we doing wrong?  ::sigh::

How can this sweet boy be so difficult at times???