I am in a crabby mood this week, as you can tell by my posts...but sometimes a girl's gotta vent. I'm having some struggles with this baby that I didn't have with Tyler, so I'm trying to work through them. What better place to get them out and get feedback than my good ole blog. So here's the situation...
1. I'm struggling with my body and for someone like me...it's infuriating! With Tyler, after about 5-6 weeks everything kinda popped back into place. Now I can't remember if I was back in my clothes, because I didn't return to work until week 9...but I can tell you at week 7...I can wear about 1/16 of my wardrobe. I can't button my pants and my belly and hips don't seem to want to shrink. My belly button is a weird shape too! Now I'm also not one of those girls that relies solely on breastfeeding to shed the lbs. I've been working...hard! I am running and doing P90X, and I've only lost about 22 of the 35 lbs I packed on. I'm up a good 10-15 lbs from my PP weight. So depressing!
2. Pumping blows! I'm not sure if it's my pump, my "dieting" to tackle problem #1, my lack of water (I've been bad lately since I'm back to work and can't pee as often as a teacher) or what...but my supply has plummeted. I'm not feeling the let-down like I used it, even when I wake up in the morning a she's gone 4-5 hours without eating I'm not producing much. This both frustrates and worries me. I'm hoping it's just the new schedule and the stress I'm under finishing up the school year. Lets hope, because I'd be heartbroken if I had to stop feeding!
3. Time for myself...where will I ever find it again? I'm "on-duty" 24/7!
4. Keeping up with the house. I am a clean person...and right now I'm living in a very unorganized house. It's driving me bonkers! But how can a person do simple chores like laundry, vacuuming and picking up when she has a baby attached to her every moment she's home?!
5. Keeping up with friends. I'm struggling to function in daily life, and I can't seem to find time OR REMEMBER to pick up the phone and keep up with everyone. I'm so sorry all...I'm just a bit overwhelmed figuring out how to juggle it all.
6. My memory is GONE...longgggggggg gone! I can't remember a thing. I hope it's just lack of sleep...but man...if it's not written down I'm in trouble.
7. Spitting up...no not me...our girl! She's princess puke, and I can't get a handle on what's going wrong.
8. Tongue-clicking. I thought Bryn would grow out of this as she got bigger, or got better at latching on, but she is still clicking her tongue when she feeds. It both hurts and worries me. Could this be why she's getting so much air and being so gassy, hiccupy and spitting up so much?!
Will accept any advice you are willing to give on any or all of the above subject. Thank you in advance!
Oh love, I'm so sorry. I'm right there with you with the puking...yes 7 months later and I still can't get a handle on Malcolm. I catch myself getting mad at him when he pukes all over me, him, or whatever else...like it's his fault?!?
ReplyDeleteI don't have much advice, just know that it will get better (I'm assuming as I have no idea what it's like to care for 2 children! :) ) I truly believed I was dealing with PPD up until Malcolm was 4 months so maybe you are too? I was just not happy and although I presented myself as happy, I really wasn't deep down and everything bugged me! You are an amazing mom and very dedicated to getting back in shape and it will come! I'm envious of you that you have such a drive, I finally just kicked myself in the butt this last month. And my supply has tanked too, so I'm thinking I'm not eating as many calories as I should, so I get frustrated too wanting to lose the last 10 lbs but knowing I need to take care of the little guy.
I'm rambling and probably not offering much advice or help here but just wanted to let you know that I hear ya and am here if you want to vent anytime!