Wednesday, May 9, 2012

PYHO: Married w/ Kids = Lame?

This weekend I went back home. Yes, home.  My kind of town, Chicago is!  Sweet home Chicago!
We headed north to help my brother's gf celebrate college graduation.  We are crazy proud of her, not just because it took her until she was 33 to graduate, but also because she chose the most noble of professions(IMHO)...teaching!  Way to go T!  We love you!  Welcome to the "club". 
T & B had an absolute blast hanging out with their "cousins".  There were babies and preschoolers abound!  Fun times!

B & little Hayden

 B and his bff Hunter
My BFF's kiddos (Hendrix & Maddox) came over to play also!  What a blessing it was to spend time with them.  They're moving just down the street from my parents, so I'm pretty pumped to have a chance to see them more often.

T & Hendrix playing superheroes.  They're a bit obsessed:)
Maddox and B doing the "baby thing"
 We also spent quite a bit of time with my parents (although, sadly, this is the only photo I have of them). 
Anyway, on to the reason for this post. 

At the graduation party, I was hoping to let loose a little.  I was looking forward to feeling less like a mom, and more like the me of yester-year.  I had a pretty difficult week of work (see previous post) so I was looking forward to a bit of adult conversation and, admittedly, maybe a few too many adult beverages.  I knew my parents would be there to help supervise the kiddos, I didn't have to drive, so I thought I'd be free to partake a bit more than usual, relax a bit. 


Lets just say that it's a bit difficult to get your vodka on when you have one kid playing by the fire and another attached to your hip at all times.  You have to feed, change 4 (yes 4) poopy diapers, and entertain a squirmy yet not-quite-walking baby girl.  Not to mention the adult interactions were a bit sporadic.  Every time I started to chime in either a kid needed me or I just had nothing to offer the conversation.

Things went downhill quickly. 

My fabulous adult-filled night turned into just about every other night at home.

Plus, and here's the kicker, I was pretty much called "lame" by all the younger, (yeah, they're whatever) single and kid-less party-goers (mostly my brother's friends).  We were talking about going to Vegas and random stories about nights out drinking, and I made the mistake of trying to chime in.  I was IMMEDIATELY rebuffed.  Basically it felt like "how dare I interject and compare our lives".  I mean, I was a double-kided, married (gasp) person.  How could MY life compare to theirs.  One of the guys even said "well our lives are VERY different, you can't really compare us".  Well okay then.   

Now, was he talking negatively about my choices to be a married mom of 2?!  Maybe, maybe not.  Did I take it that way.  Ummmm...hell yeah I did. 

I quickly went from feeling like a contributing member of the "party" to a foreign invader, an unwanted guest on "their" turf.  How dare I try to (gasp) have fun, and (double gasp) compare my younger, single, kidless days of old to their current lives.  I mean...I'm....double L.A.M.E. and the farthest thing from them. 

So, moral of the story mood dropped quickly.  I was put in my place, and that is where I stayed the rest of the night.  The vodka went away.  My jovial mood quickly turned.  I stopped participating in the discussions and humorous stories.  I went right back into full-on lame married mommy mode.

So just because you're a married mom does that mean you're boring? 

Personally, I don't think so. 

I guess I have to figure out how to not let that perception bother me.  I like what my life has become.  I adore being a wife and mom.  I made these decisions freely.  I'm not embarrassed by that.  So why does it bother me they perceive me as lame-o? 

But I'm fun too.  Just ask me.   

Now go pour out your own heart!

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  1. Sometimes I feel that same way, too.. but most of my friends have kids and/or are married.. it's good to make time for a girls night so you can let loose and have fun without having to be made to feel like the outcast.

  2. Wait until they have kids and then they'll see!

  3. Well - sadly - yes...But not to worry - last summer my youngest turned 4 and it was magical...
    They play with their siblings, friends, cousins and I can drink and ignore them.....

  4. As your kids get older you become less lame at least in your own mind and minds of others - in your kids minds you are more lame. Sorry!

    So the moral of the story is that when all those young people start having their babies and are lame you will totally be ready for a girls weekend in Vegas. Than who will have the stories???

  5. My first thought is that the people who made comments like that to you were just rude and immature. I personally would take my life as a happily married mom over being single and trolling the bars looking for a hookup. And like Heather said, when those youngins start settling down and having kids yours will be old enough to be more independent and then you'll be the fun one while they are "lame".

  6. I'm pretty sure that guy is the LAME-O one. What an ass. "Scuse my language. here's what those people don't get though. Yes I am a mom. I am a wife. I can get a baby sitter and hubby and I can go out drinking and carousing etc. I can give the kiddo off to hubby for a night and go have a girls night. But quite frankly, when it comes down to it, I would rather be at home with my little family than out with people like that. They can live it up however they want, but don't act like my way of livin' it up isn't as good. Jerks.

    Oh and big hugs to you!

  7. Sorry your night turned out so dreary. You did deserve a good time, sans kids, in a knock out dress, a smile on your face, and one-too many cocktails. We all deserve that, or something like that! It just wasn't your night. You'll just have to plan a date night when you get back home! Me? I can NEVER relax with my son around and out of the house! I know this NOW! So I make it a point to go out once or twice a month and have me time (OK, mother's club book club and moms' night out, maybe a date night with my hard-working hubby.) You should also know my son has Down syndrome. Having him with me at a social function caused me to turn into an on-duty security guard at a zoo of monkeys (hmmm, maybe not the best example). The point is: there's a time and a place! Hope your next night out is what you want, need, and deserve! (Loved your post, so funny, even if true! I could relate!)


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