My career path has been less-than-smooth.
But, despite the road blocks, drama and far too much education, I have forged on and fought for my ability to be a teacher.
I'm a lucky one. I love my job. I enjoy most days at work. I feel rewarded, every once in a while. I feel like I'm quite possibly making a difference. It's a blessing to be in my line of work.
However, with a great job also comes great challenges.
Unfortunately, I'm also a very sensitive and emotional person. I take things to heart. I'm not a roll-off-my-back type. Things people say and do often stick with me. They affect me greatly. I find myself pining over things, worrying about things, dwelling on things. I can't sleep. I'm sick to my stomach often. I'm just a sensitive, worrier.
Education and a public school setting is full of drama, cliques, pressure, bullying and back-stabbing. And I don't mean the kids...
I am angry with myself.
I think it's my fault people tend to walk all over or take advantage of me. I'm clearly not giving off a "I'm a strong woman, don't mess with me" vibe.
I must look weak.
I need to figure out how to be a better role model for my kids. I don't want them to think mama is weak or timid. I don't want them to see me fold under pressure, do things I should have said "no" to or have emotional reactions to personal or professional situations.
I'm done with being the victim. I'm done with playing the fool. I've got to figure out how to be a stronger me.
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