Tuesday, January 24, 2012
My Irrational Fear of Formula
I have a confession to make ::blushes:: I'm deathly afraid of formula. I know, it's weird. Yet, I can't seem to get over my panic over the powder. As I sit her typing, even thinking of switching over gives me anxiety. The weird thing is, I have absolutely NO JUDGEMENT over those that formula feed...not one bit...in fact, I am actually often envious of moms that FF, of their freedom, their much perkier boobs and the fact that they don't have to spend every free moment at work pumping. I absolutely long for the days I am not lugging my pump to and from work every.single.day. Yet here I am freaking out over switching over. What's my freaking problem??
B is now almost 9.5 months. We are still BF and I am still pumping at work (insert thumbs down here). However, I know the "end is near". I am TRYING...emphasis on "trying"...to prepare myself for the inevitable switch. I have 5 more gallon bags of frozen milk in my deep freezer (8-10 bottles each). We have just dipped into our September stash. What do I do...I start to have a full-on panic attack. I am unable to store anymore extra milk. That's the reality. Period. My body just can't produce like it used to. I can barely produce enough for a bottle for B everyday. So right now, B gets 1 fresh and 1 frozen bottle everyday with my MIL. But...the frozen stashes days are numbered...and formula is probably in our future. And then I'll start panicking over which formula to pick...ugh.
I was already mixing formula and BM with DS well before now, so why the irrational fear of doing the same with DD?? Anyone have suggestions, words of advice, encouragement, slaps into reality?? I'm really having a hard time with this, and I need to get over myself!!