I'm Having a "Mommy Fail" Day

Some days home alone with the kids are amazing, perfect and smooth.  I feel like super mom.  We have a wonderful day, and when hubs gets home, we're all hunky-dory. 

Other days are an epic fail.  Today I felt like a horrible mom.  It was like every last imperfection reared its ugly head.  On days like this, I start to highlight my mistakes as a mom, I internalize them and they eat away at me.  It's days like this that I have a mini nervous breakdown, as my daily failures pile up. 

I'm struggling with a lot of minor issues with both of my kids right now.  I can't seem to figure out how to be successful or make positive changes in these areas, and it's starting to get to me.  I can feel myself cracking...  

With T I'm about ready to pull my hair out with his inability to hold his pee at night.  He turned 5 in June, and my 5 year old still wears a pull-up.  ::hangs head in shame::  I have tried it all.  I have let him sleep in underwear, threatened privileges, offered rewards for repeatedly dry days, you name it.  I am about two seconds away from shelling out some major dough for the little wet sensor that the Leaps and Bounds catalogue sells to help wake a sleeping child when they need to pee.  I'm at my wits end.  I was yesterday.  I HATE YOU PULL UPS!   

T is also trying to exert some independence in his dress.  I know this isn't a big deal, but for a type-A OCD mommy like me, I even pick out his underwear to match his outfit.  I'm having a minor struggle with it.  He's wearing silly bands to bed, sweat bands to the zoo, argyle socks and gym shoes outside to play, shirts that he's grown out of, and it's driving me bonkers.  I know this is something I have to get over...but man...

T is also a show-off.  He is not my son when his peers are around.  When it's just the three of us (me and the kids) at the park or zoo or wherever, he's a well-behaved rules-follower.  He stays with me, holds my hand without protest, listens when I ask him to do something/or not, he's very easy to deal with.  When he has a friend around on a play date, he's the worst listener E.V.E.R.  I think I say his name about 300,000,000 times when we are out with others.  I have to constantly remind him to stay with mommy, he has a huge issue with using his "inside voice" always talking wayyyyy too loudly, and he doesn't listen to me.  It's infuriating.  Don't get me started on the epic failure that was our zoo play date yesterday.  I was exhausted by lunch.  Today he got in trouble within the first 2 minutes of his first swim lesson of the season and had to sit out.  2 minutes he lasted...  I guess that cannonball was much more important than listening to his teacher.  ugh. 

I feel like a failure when I can't make progress on these issues with my 5 year old.  I'm losing my mind, and sadly my iron-clad patience I am so proud of.

B is also driving me bonkers today, as much as a 14 month old can, of course.  She is IMPOSSIBLE to shop with...a frigging nightmare!  If I don't have an IV drip of snacks for her for the duration of our trip to the grocery store...watch out!  Today I was one of those moms that opens the package WHILE she is still shopping.  Yep, that was me.  Ugh.  B throws everything on the floor after allowing it to entertain her for 2.2 seconds; binky, my phone (twice), the grocery list (three times), 2 books I picked up to appease her, a snack, another snack, yet another snack, just about every non-breakable grocery in my cart...you get the idea.  Then she tries to sit up in the cart, throws her head back and screams when I won't let her, oh...and she poops...EVERY FRICKING TIME!

My little hulk!

I'm also feeling like a big fat failure when it comes to feeding my kids.  I am a cheap ass.  I admit it.  I pack lunches for me and the kids daily.  I also feel more in control of their diet when I pack.  I despise fast food, albeit we do eat it once in a while.  But, seriously folks, how many fricking types of sandwiches can I come up with in 1 week.  I'm so sick of feeding them things between bread I'm ready to scream!!!!!!  I'm running out of ideas.

I also feel so guilty if they don't get a variety.  My pantry is a who's who of every healthy snack alternative for kids over the age of 1 year.  It's insanity in a cabinet.  

If I feed them the same veggie or fruit in a period of 2 days, I feel like I'm depriving them and setting them up for failure.  Did I mention I was a health nut?!  Yeah, I am.  But, how can I eat healthy if not one of the other 3 people in my house eats veggies?!  No wonder B is stopped up! 

Speaking of veggies...what fricking veggies?!  T eats at total of 3, and 2 of those are cold and with about a bucket of ranch (carrots and broccoli).  B eats a total of zero...yep...zilch.  My 14 month old gets NO fresh veggies in her diet.  I am a freaking failure.  Every once in a while, I can get her to eat hummus, and the other day I hid small carrot pieces in her eggs (but it took her about 4 bites to find them and throw every last one on the floor).  Otherwise...this is how she eats her veggies. 

I'm mortified.  Why can't I get my baby to eat veggies at such a young age?  Usually they aren't so picky now, right?! 

Can you tell I've had a rough day?!  Sorry for the massive mommy fail vent, but sometimes a mommy has got to get it all out.  Oh, did I mention I screamed out in frustration in the car on the way home from the grocery store.  My eyes welled up with tears, I had to tell myself to breath and I shook.  I really gotta stop letting things fester.  Clearly, this isn't working for me. 

So am I an epic mommy failure?!  Anyone else share any of these, or similar, struggles with their kids?  Please share, so I don't feel like a complete crazy lunatic.  ::breath::




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